Asshole of the Week

A running column from Dan Hudak spotlighting the worst offenders in movie theater etiquette. From glowing phone screens in the dark to parents bringing small kids to R-rated features, these are the moments that ruin a screening for everyone else.

The column has built a loyal following by name-checking specific offenses, calling out inconsiderate behavior directly, and occasionally swinging at businesses and institutions that get it wrong.

The shared experience of watching a film in a theater hinges on a simple social contract: respect the space and the people around you. Yet every week brings fresh examples of that contract being broken. The most common offenders are the glowing phone screens that pull focus from the story unfolding on screen, the whispered commentaries that distract entire rows, and the late arrivals who shuffle across the aisle mid-scene. These disruptions break the spell that cinema creates, pulling viewers out of the narrative and into irritation. A movie works best when an audience collectively surrenders to it, and that surrender requires everyone to be present without being a presence.

Parents bringing very young children to R-rated features remains one of the more baffling and inconsiderate habits in modern moviegoing. Not only does the content often prove inappropriate, but the inevitable restlessness of a bored child disrupts the screening for paying adults who chose the film intentionally. The same logic applies to talking through a movie, kicking the seat in front of you, or rustling noisy packaging during quiet dramatic moments. These behaviors suggest a disregard for the communal nature of cinema, treating a shared room as a private living space. Good etiquette is simply acknowledging that dozens of other people paid the same ticket price for the same immersive experience.

Theater etiquette columns like the Asshole of the Week serve a purpose beyond public shaming: they reinforce the standards that make moviegoing worthwhile. By naming specific offenses and the thoughtlessness behind them, these pieces remind audiences that cinema is a collective art form. The darkness of a theater is meant to focus attention on the screen, not to anonymize bad behavior. When patrons silence their phones, arrive on time, and save conversations for after the credits, they honor the craft and effort that went into the film. A respectful audience enhances every screening, making the difference between a distracted viewing and one that truly resonates.

House Rules

• Phones down. If you need to take a call, step outside the theater.
• Read the rating. R-rated films are not the place for small children.
• Respect the audience. Talking, kicking seats, and bright screens ruin the experience for everyone else.
• Arrive on time. Latecomers block aisles and disturb seated viewers.
• Cleanup counts. Leave your row the way you found it.